The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
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We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
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Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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