my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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