I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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