I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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