whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
