There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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