wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I need a beard to bite.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
