dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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