I feel great
I just peed on a car
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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