you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
