Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Pants are for mortals
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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