I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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