Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
are you so shy because you have an std?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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