it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I CAN MOONWALK!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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