Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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