When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
