covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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