Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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