It's just like the Real World with babies
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
