We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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