Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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