i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
