that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
