I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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