Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
