I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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