I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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