wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
