I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Who died my cat blue again?
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