He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
