I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize