I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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