the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
