he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
