Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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