PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
