people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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