why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
