I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
