he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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