her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
