i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
