You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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