I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
