it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
