Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
