They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
