The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
