he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
