my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Randomize