i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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