She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
